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Unknown Celebrities

In the scintillating, constantly-changing, tabloid-sponsored, obsession-inducing world of celebrity I’m about as tuned out as a cell phone in a coal mine.  To be honest, this state of sublime uselessness is one that I’m pleased to inhabit and one in which I intend to reside for the rest of my days.  There are many subjects about which I should know more, and shame on me for my lack of knowledge.  Celebrity-spotting is not one of them.

Today – a wet and dreary Tuesday with a blank page in my diary – I decided to test myself in a kind of Mastermind challenge on the subject of celebrity.  The questions were set, as it were, by the Femail Today gossip column on the Daily Mail website.  I would run down the column, which comprises about forty items on various celebrities – in some cases celebrity couples – and record how many I could identify.  I devised in ascending order of familiarity, three celebrity categories: first, those who are so famous that even I’ve heard of them; those whose names do no more than ring a faint bell; and those whose names escape me entirely.  The results were instructive. 

In the ‘famous’ category – which included such obvious luminaries as Bill and Hillary Clinton, the Beckhams, Kate Winslet and Nigella Lawson – there were thirteen items.  In the ‘faint-bell’ group there were five, a small enough number to allow me to list them: Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Anne Hathaway, Milla Jovovich and Megan Fox.   In the ‘totally unknown’ there were nineteen entries.  They included – I’ll randomly name a few so that you can gauge the level of my ignorance – Kim Humphries, Mark Wright, Gary Barlow, Vanessa Hudgens, Nadya Suleman, Amy Childs, Jake Pavelka and Kitty Brucknell.

How did I do?  How would you have done?  Try it – and if you pass fifty percent, shame on you.

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